October 2009 Archives

On Saturday it rained, canceling our plans to go to the zoo in the morning. Thankfully, one of the benefits of not living in rural upstate New York but the suburbs of a city, is that there are plently of cheap/free things to do with our child.

We took River to Storyville--a part of the Rosedale Library. Storyville is an amazing (I can't even tell you how many times I said the place was amazing. Enough times to make Jason start to go cross-eyed and steam leak from his nostrils). The entire room is filled with a minature town. Each section of the town promotes literacy. The entire AMAZING place is open only to children Birth-5 years of age. It's built for children and parents to interact. There are books, books, books everywhere and tons of hands on station designed for toddlers. All free. Did you read that correctly. FREE. A-FREAK'IN-MAZING!

A quick ninja shot of Storyville from behind a wall. The rules are no electronics. Tons of parents had their cameras out anyway. Still, I hate breaking rules and felt guilty everytime I snapped a photo!

Jason did not seem impressed as I insisted on dragging River around to see everything--all the AMAZING EVERYTHINGS of Storyville. Jason wanted to let him play with the shapes on the magnet board for the entire hour we were able to stay there before naptime. He just might have, but once I dragged him away from one thing, he was happy to try something else.

Grocery shopping is much more fun when the food is plastic and the toddler does all the work.

I tried to explain the wow factor to Jason. First, I grew up in a town where we got a McDonalds and we thought that was freak'in awesome because it had a Play Place. Where there was one, count it, one public park. I'm a country girl. I get giddy at the thought of ALL WE CAN DO as a family within a 30 minute drive from where we live. My son will grow up not thinking the McDonald's Play Place is impressive or that the new Dunk'in Dounuts they are building on the corner means the town is moving up a notch. Dude, down here we have STARBUCKS. (Oh, their Pumpkin Spice Latte is a sin. A horribly overpriced, yum-yum-yummy sin)

Note the shirt--a birthday gift from my mother. River would have played with the cash register for another hour--but I dragged him away from it with promises of fire trucks.

Also, things like Storyville are a stay-at-home-mom's dream come true. If we had a second car, I'd spend half of every single day in Storyville with River and I don't think it would get old. At one point River lay down on the floor, exhausted by all the educational fun he was having. If I were rich, I'd build him a Storyville of his own, plunk his bed down in the middle and deliver him breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a tray so he'd never have to leave.

The Storyville Library

At one point we plunked down together in one of those comfortable gliders and read three books--all of them about machines of some sort--fire trucks or bikes because the child is obessessed.

Can you say dramatic play? My teacher sense is tingling! Do you know how good dramatic play is? I want to kiss this place and write it love letters.

There was just so much to do. We'll have to head back on other rainy days. Good news is another library, one closer to us, is also building a Storyville! Hopefully, it will be different so we can take advantage of both. I love living in Baltimore! Goodbye country girl and hello city mama!

His father makes the same exact face (those sucked in lips) when he is concentrating when playing a video game.

Only for  non-walkers, I almost wept when I saw the Baby Garden. Do you know how much River would have loved this section when he was sitting and crawling around? Do you know how blissful it would have been to have an amused infant for thirty minutes? I can't wait to use it with the future number two!

Jason was not pleased when he saw this photo. I just told him to put his head through that particular hole. I didn't tell him he was the lady!

Minutes before passing out. Storyville was a total success.

River and J born three days, one hour and five minutes apart and delivered by the same midwife.

from those early days...

to this! (How are they almost two? Please explain.)

I'm still working my way through edits. Right now I am about 100 pages away from finishing my third round of edits. For the third round I worked my way through from the end. First I went 100 pages in and went to the end, than 200 pages, then 300. Altogether, THE NOVEL is about 400 pages long!

My goal is to read through it one more time and then give it to whatever readers are actually willing and able to read it for me.

I need to move on to editing book two and writing book three. I need a break from the first book to refresh my eyes to how I can make it better.

While visiting in Oneonta I got to meet two adorable, new babies. Maybe it is because I have a boy or maybe it is the newborness--but the little six day old boy started my baby craving again. My craving are overpowering in the spring and pretty much numb the rest of the year. When I saw that little boy, so small, sleeping with his fist curled up on his cheek it hit me in the heart.

Sometimes I do miss that.

two weeks old/two weeks new

I've forgotten how tiny he was. How every moment was filled with touching him and him touching me. Hours of the day nursing and constant exhaustion. Marveling at him--this little creation that I grew in my body that was part me and his father.

I forgot he had no eyebrows then and such red hair!

Now when I hold those newborn clothes, packed away for a little brother or sister, I can't believe he ever fit in those--that they were actually huge on him! How quickly we forget! How fast they grow!

I'm really looking foward to experiencing all these early moments again. Not because River isn't enough, but because he is so wonderful, such a blessing, that I want to add still more wonder to our family.

What brings more joy than children?

A friend suggested gdiapers to me. I'd researched them before, but they are actually more expensive than disposables or cloth. Thus, they were not an option when I was looking to switch from disposibles to something more environmentally friendly as well as better for our budget.

I've written about the cloth diapers we use on a day-to-day basis, here and here.

Cloth diapers and traveling can work together. I've done it a number of times for long trips and short trips in cars or on planes. The thing with cloth and traveling is that cloth diapers take up a lot of room and need to be laundered with special detergents that don't contain dyes, perfumes or other additives. Usually, other familes won't have this detergent. Then we need to pack diapers (River's cloth diapers can fill an entire large luggage bag.) as well as enough detergent for our trips. 

When we went to the beach, I used disposibles because I wouldn't have easy access to a washing machine and dryer. Plus, really who wants to sit in a laundromat every couple days while on vacation?

Still, I feel guilty every time I use disposibles. Disposibles sit in landfills for 90 some odd years before they break down. That's a lot of diapers just sitting around. Plus, cloth is much nicer on River's bum. Go from using cloth to disposibles and you feel like you are wrapping your kid in newspaper!

We decieded to try gdiapers for our most recent trip because they are something of a middle ground between cloth and disposibles and for short durations of time (once the initial start up price is past) they are comparable to disposible diaper brands. We purchased a starter kit and one pack of inserts from the following site (best online deal I could find at the time).

The starter kit comes with two little gpants, three waterproof snap-in liners, and ten disposible inserts--plus a "swish stick" which we did not use.

The disposibles liners get inserted into the waterproof liner (white) which snaps into the orange little gpants in the image below.

Thank you internet for this image someone else took. Here they used a cloth insert instead of a disposible kind.

For a four days trip this is all we had. When River needed his diaper changed we simply removed the disposible liner and inserted a new one. If (when) the waterproof liners got soiled (with POOP!) it can be rinsed off in the sink with hot water (I also used a bit of soap) and then hung to dry. They dry quickly.

Unlike disposibles, the liners of gdiapers break down in a matter of months! They can be added to your compost. Supposedly you can also flush them, but I am terrified of clogging someone's pipes and did not dare try it.

I saw a few challenges when using these. One, there is no easy way to toss the liner without leaving your baby undiapered for longer than usual UNLESS you have the second diaper set up with a liner already in it to put on. Otherwise your baby is either bare bottomed and unattended while you walk across the public bathroom to a garbage bin or you have a balled-up, soppy diaper liner to set somewhere. I tried using bags (to pick up and hold the soiled liner) but that's a lot of bags!

Two, the liner collapses in on itself when wet. Sort of like a straw wrapper--if you know what I mean. So poop will get on the waterproof liner. River also managed to get a bit of poop on the cloth pants once. The site says this is because the pants are a bit too big on him, but poop leaks--it happens. If you have a younger baby  or are going on a longer vacation--you'll want to have a bit more of these outer pants in case of accidents. The cloth pants can be washed with your regular laundry!

I must admit we used the few disposibles I had left at night because River is a heavy wetter at night. I have heard that gdiapers begin to "break down" is left soaked with urine too long (ie:overnight) and so, rather than risk a pee leak of massive proportions--we used up the last of our disposibles. I can not testify to gdiapers overnight! Though I will be using them 24/7 during our next trip.

Overall though, these diapers allowed me to overcome my issues about traveling with cloth while still being conscious of the enviromental impacts of diapering. They took up a lot less room in our travel bags and very little effort on our part to keep clean. I strongly suggest them to parents that want a greener option without going completely the cloth route.

In fact, these diapers are more green than cloth because they require less energy (washing/drying) to maintain!

Happy diapering!

On Sunday we left for our mini-vacation to upstate New York. Our first stop was the farm of our friends Bruce and Dawn. Dawn acted as our "Oneonta Mommy" for the bulk of our years living there. That is to say she spoiled us with wonderful meals. River loved seeing all the animals even if it was cold outside.

feeding the sheep that were hand raised by Dawn

four pigs in a row

baby bunny

alpachas!

Dawn has her sheep and alpachas sheered and then spins their fleece into yarn. She adopts the reject alphacas that are not fit for breeding--boys with spotted fleece or tunnel vision.

chickens and the only sunshine we felt for days

River befriends Ollie the farm kitty

I believe I've mentioned that traveling with a toddler is exhausting? Naps get cut short, knocked back, or skipped altogether. Meals are shuffled around and bedtime routines thrown to the winds. River did very well considering.

We spent most of our time with our friends in Maryland (the town, not the state). Ginny and I were pregnant together and gave birth three days apart. J and River have been together since a very young age. Maybe it is this or the close birthdays, but even with months of seperation there is no child River plays with as well as J. With most children he plays by them, but J and River interact constantly. It was the sweetest thing to hear them calling each other's names.

I'm happy with our move to Baltimore where their is far more opportunites, culture, and sunshine! Still, there are so many people I care for in Oneonta. It was so wonderful to see them again. To have conversations with other mothers, to see how their children have grown, to welcome new babies and bellies.

Thank you all. We had such a great time. If we could transport you all down here, I think Baltimore would be heaven on earth.

We'll come up again in the summertime...when the snow finally melts!

From 2007--

The cats will be partying all weekend as we humans shall be visiting New York for a few days. We expect at least three hair balls upon our return.

Posting will resume next Thursday!

Dear River,

Two years ago everyone kept asking me if I was about to have you. My due date wasn't until December 21st. When I told them this, they asked me if I was having twins. Two years ago my feet were so badly swollen, they ached all the time. I got a pair of crocs for my birthday from your grandmother--my feet never hurt after that. One year ago you had just begun walking. Toddling around one slow step at a time. I remember your first steps, when you walked three paces between grandma and I, laughing the entire time, falling into our arms as thrilled as we were to see you moving. One year ago I couldn't believe how close you were to being one. Now I can't believe how close you are to being two.

 cool kid

This month you have aquired your very own way of eating orea cookies. Yes, we bribe you to eat your dinner with a cookie for desert. Sometimes you like to say, "Cookie, first?" No, cookie first, kid. When you get your cookie you twist it apart, eat one half, eat the frosting off the other half, and then finish the last half. How did you come up with this plan? Your father and I just eat the cookies a bite at a time. They should bring back those orea commercials and cast you as the lead.

 mom, I'll be right back. going to the store to pick up some more oreos

You still love to push your stroller, but at some point you stopped having to pull it back and push it on two wheels. At some point, when I looked away or blinked, you grew tall enough to push it like an adult. Around this same time you grew out of your crocs, then your sandals, and then your shoes. You have some big feet. You are a size eight. Today at the playground a five year old little girl was wearing a size eight. You just change so quickly! You've stopped holding the railing as you climb up and down stairs, you jump off furniture, and you sprint across fields. It may all seem simple, but I can remember you hitting yourself in the face just trying to get your fist into your mouth.

this spring you needed help on the playground. now you can do it all yourself.

You love to dance and sing. When we go grocery shopping they always have bad music playing in the store. Usually it has a beat. You run into the middle of the aisle and dance--one arm in the air, hopping up and down, gesturing. You're really feeling it. People laugh and smile, comment on your dancing, and you just move. I am so proud to have a child that makes others happy--random stranger picking up a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk. I think, this is why children are special--they feel such joy.

jason, there's something in your shirt.

Recently, you have begun to jig to the ABCs. I have no idea why. You just love stomping to that song. You sing the first few letters and then demand we continue and you stomp and hop your way around the room. You love all songs, espcially "Elmo's Song". You go "Lalala, Elmo's song" and dance. Your la's can only be sung with your tongue sticking completely out. It's hilarious.

Modeling for M&Ms

As we walk you point out the numbers on the buildings. You almost always get it wrong, but often you say, "Number five or number two!" You want to know what it says. When I work out you count with me. "One" I say. "Two," you add. "Three," I say. and then you are lost so you repeat me until we get to nine and you burst out "Ten!".We are working on our colors too, but they also become mixed up in your mind. You usually manage to keep orange straight. You make your mom proud.

Speaking of colors, you are obessesed with coloring. You want to know the colors and to scribble all over. You also love your blocks. The other day you patterned a block tower with purple and blue blocks--one and then another. I suggested you make one out of orange and yellow blocks and you did!

you like the dead flowers as much as the living ones

You understand so much and this is opening up the world of pretend and humor, mischievousness and creative thinking. You pretend to eat things and parts of people, you pretend to sleep,  pretend with your cars and you even pretend to cry (I see right through it, thanks). During dinner last night you took a small piece of angel hair pasta and told me it was a caterpillar. You then found a long piece and told us it was a "big caterpillar!". You problem solve and figure things out. I hear you talking to yourself. "No!" you burst out taking off one ring and putting on another till you get them in the proper order.

Yesterday you "read" us a book. You told us what was happening on each page and said words we had no idea you knew. River, we read together a lot. Every week we get about 15 books out of the library and we read those 15 books every single day for that week-- 1/2 before nap time and 1/2 before bed. Then during the day we read a few books from your library or I catch you in there flipping through them by yourself. I am so proud that you love books. I hope this is something that will stay with you through life.

a blurry photo but we have very few of all three of us

Oh, River. Babies might be cute and easily to please, cuddly and dependent--but you are so much more fun this way. I used to dread you ageing, afraid it would be too much of a challenege. There are challenging times, true, but your amazing personality is such a joy to watch grow. It is so fasinating to converse with you, to meet your eye and communicate, to have you question and learn, discover and seek.

Little boy, my little boy, you are really something wonderful.

Love,

Mommy

Yet another book from my mother's bookshelf and finally something not depressing... even though the book starts out with the narrator killing her mother. Yes, killing her mother. Keeping true to her style, Alice Sebold loves disturbing her readers. She takes you into the near crazy mind of the narrator with this one.

Her language, as always, is really well done. There is violence, pain, trama and all those other wonderful, gut-wrenching things that draw me into her books. (both of which, I have read).

It's another quick read. One I left at a bookstore last week and had to call them in a panic, describing my book like a lost child. I was nearly done with it too. I had to wait an entire week to get it back. It didn't go stale for me after a week. I got right back into the story.

The end leaves somethings hanging and was a bit annoying. :(

Sebold's first book, The Lovely Bones, is wildly popular. If you enjoyed that, I suggest you try this one out. Warning, it is a bit more dark--and that's saying something.

I really hate the phrase "Best Friend". Maybe because it was tagged onto people like a  possession in my youth, swapped and switched with passing years, used to set people into hierarchies, to say, 'I prefer this girl over that girl' or 'she means more to me than you'. That being said, I was that girl always wanting a best friend and always switching that crown from head to head over the years. There was Nina from nursery school, Christine from elementary school, Karen throughout middle school, and then Amanda. Imagine that when I say Amanda, that I say it with a sigh and a smile.

People used to think Amanda and I were lesbians. Lesbians who broke up our Sophomore year. I was the abusive, cold-hearted dude in the relationship. She was the heartbroken lady. I guess I learned that only very strong love can produce so much anger.

We "hooked back up". (I'm just going to play up the lover thing) during my first year of college because of 9/11. No lie. She defended my idealism. I didn't think it was right that people were being racist towards middle easterners or Muslims and someone bad mouthed me on my blog about having no American pride. Amanda stood up for me.

I love many friends, but in life you only find a few very special people. People that you never second guess, that you are rarely insecure about. People who just roll their eyes, shrug and say "That's Autumn. That's what she does." People I can smile about and say, "That's what she does. That's just how she is."

I crave that with everyone but maybe it just takes time, hurt, mistakes, and forgiveness to get to that place with people. Or maybe it takes something more. So kind of spirtual connection. As Anne of Green Gables would say, A Kindred Spirit.

Even if she hates blueberries, being alone, crooked pictures on the wall, and sea creatures and I apsolutly love most of those things. (Sea creatures, I must admit, are really creepy), she and I still, somehow, get along.

This is my best friend. Her name is Amanda.

From years ago, when I visited her is Arizona. She had since regained her sanity and moved back from the wastelands.

The last time I saw her in August.

World, I adore this woman.

 From times before the baby when I really needed to vaccumm the furniture--

orange fur, orange chair, orange blanket, orange eyes

October is a month of memories for me. I love the fall because the warm weather (and sun) is fleeting. The things we love always seem to matter more before we say goodbye. I love the colors and the crisp air, the apple cider and the golden light. Have you noticed that the color of the light is different in the fall? As if it is diffused through an amber lense. It seems to linger, yellow, each evening.

October is the month of my birthday. So every year I turn my identity to a new chapter. This year I will go from 26 to 27. Nothing special, except when I think back to nineteen--I feel so very different. Much older. As if so much has changed in what is a short span of time. I suppose it has. 

In October, the year I was nineteen, I met Jason. It snowed that year--yes in October.

This year is especially special because it is our first fall in Maryland and it does feel different. Summer lingered here. The trees are still more green than my gut tells me that ought to me. Oh, and there is still sun. Lovely wonderful, depression curing sun. Maybe my birthday will no longer happen at the foliage peak--like is so often does in New York--but that doesn't matter. I'm going back to New York around my birthday anyway!

Lastly, October means Halloween. Something that began to happen haphazardly since I graduated high school. My last attempt at Halloween was letting Jason paint my face and handing out candy at the buisness while we were stuck working. The following year I would look about the same because I was seven months pregnant.

Zombie! Run for your lives! Actually, don't worry. I'm too small and slow to actually catch you unless, that is, you happen to be as clumsy as I am. Klutzes beware!

Last year River had just learned to walk so most of the trick or treating was on us. I think he ate both his first bite of chocolate and ice cream that night. I remember he cried everytime I took the spoon, once bearing ice cream, our of his mouth. As if it were a nipple, attached to a breast of course, producing the most wonderful milk in existence.

This year, what with the walking a year old and the art of eating sweets accomplished, we should be looking at a better time.

We're going to pick out his costume on Friday. I'm very excited. The holiday takes on new life when you have children and I'm wondering what we should do if he wants to dress up like a fairy princess. I'm all for allowing it, but I know his Dad wants to make him Kid Flash.