The last few days have been wonderful and by that I mean temperatures in the upper 50's and early 60's plus sunshine. That means River and I spend our mornings walking to the play ground and back and our afternoons on the balcony--the toddler playing in his sandbox and the mother reading in a spot of sun. Weather like this would be too cool come fall, but after cold and snow and cloudy misery, we'll take whatever we can get! It will just be better from here!
Spring makes me feel more hopeful, although I still don't feel up to being social or getting back into my writer's group just yet. What I really crave is family. Time with River and Jason. Sharing the pleasure of seeing our son enjoy something new as we make our family treks out and about each weekend.
Spring makes me feel more hopeful, although I still don't feel up to being social or getting back into my writer's group just yet. What I really crave is family. Time with River and Jason. Sharing the pleasure of seeing our son enjoy something new as we make our family treks out and about each weekend. Spring also means I'm in my second trimester. Hello, second trimester or (as I like to refer to you as) the eye of the hurricane. My energy is peaking, my nausea nearly gone and my belly growing and growing--not yet to monstrous, uncomfortable proportions. Family vacations and day trips are being planned as well as travels to see family and friends in New York before I get too pregnant and too close to D-day to travel far from home.
I'm fourteen weeks pregnant this week and barely shoving myself into my pre-pregnancy jeans with the aid of a be-band. That means they are unbuttoned and unzipped. Just a few weeks ago I could still force them to button. It wasn't comfortable, but it was do-able. That is no longer the case.
One May 3rd we will have been in Baltimore for one year. What a year and we've hardly experienced the newness of this area. It will take years upon years to make this place as familiar a home to me as Oneonta has been. I look forward to that!
Life passes day to day, sometimes boring and tedious, but looking back full of adventure. I can't believe late summer will find me a mother a second time over, that a year from now will be family trips in the works with a three year old and an infant. I feel blessed and positive.
Slowly, I'm making my way forward, learning to function with the grief of my brother's passing. I'm as wobbly as a toddler who just mastered baby steps. I hope to soon be ready to reach out more. To get into writing again and seeing friends outside of my mommy obligations--just for me. Right now, just for me, is too much. Functioning for family alone is still quite the work out. I'll get there and find the way to walk confidently and then run with the memories (good and bad) of Bryan and the emotional soup of a second pregnancy turning my brain to sludge.
Thanks all for your understanding while I continue to prefer my hermitage...for now.
I'm fourteen weeks pregnant this week and barely shoving myself into my pre-pregnancy jeans with the aid of a be-band. That means they are unbuttoned and unzipped. Just a few weeks ago I could still force them to button. It wasn't comfortable, but it was do-able. That is no longer the case.One May 3rd we will have been in Baltimore for one year. What a year and we've hardly experienced the newness of this area. It will take years upon years to make this place as familiar a home to me as Oneonta has been. I look forward to that!
Life passes day to day, sometimes boring and tedious, but looking back full of adventure. I can't believe late summer will find me a mother a second time over, that a year from now will be family trips in the works with a three year old and an infant. I feel blessed and positive.
Slowly, I'm making my way forward, learning to function with the grief of my brother's passing. I'm as wobbly as a toddler who just mastered baby steps. I hope to soon be ready to reach out more. To get into writing again and seeing friends outside of my mommy obligations--just for me. Right now, just for me, is too much. Functioning for family alone is still quite the work out. I'll get there and find the way to walk confidently and then run with the memories (good and bad) of Bryan and the emotional soup of a second pregnancy turning my brain to sludge.
Thanks all for your understanding while I continue to prefer my hermitage...for now.
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