38 weeks pregnant

I had a midwife appointment on Tuesday and brought River along for once. Mostly because he has had doctor's office induced anxiety in the past and I wanted to warm him up to the idea of mommy receiving medical attention before his visit to the hospital. I was also hoping it would get him excited about the baby and further develop some idea of where (although it won't be there) I would be going when the baby was born and what it would be like.

He still kept asking, "We're not going for me? We're going for you?" as if to be sure I wasn't tricking him with the surprise being a big, painful needle in the thigh. 

Once there he was excited. Mainly because the nurses and receptionists were fawning all over him and I'd brought books and toy cars for us to amuse ourselves with as we waited. He was witness to me peeing in a cup and my explanations as to why I had to weren't the best. How do you explain that a nurse has to look at your pee pee? When asked if he had to make a pee pee, he said "I don't want to pee in a cup." I then had to explain that only mommy had to do that.

We went in the room and waited. When I dared to get off the table he got up and led me back. "Mommy, you have to wait there for your check-up." Shesh, okay pushy. I gave him a lollypop and told him to stay seated. He was wonderfully, well behaved. The midwife commented that he spoke extremely well for his age. My response? Yeah, he never stops talking! 

River enjoyed going with me so much that he didn't want to leave. I think I will bring he along next week as well. 

I have two possible midwives that can deliver the baby girl. Usually I see cranky midwife and she's often cranky because of the issues we've had with my insurance. Like it taking six weeks for them to send her my medical records and they failed to send my first ultrasound results, totally sent the second solo, and then failed to send the third. I suspect she thinks I'm not doing the job on my end. Little does she know--or believe--that I make the needed phone calls the day of my appointments with her or the next day--latest. Or the fact that I have started writing everything down since yes, communication with my insurance is shitty. I even had the courtesy to call her office and leave a message telling her where my insurance was ALLOWING me to have my last ultrasound that she requested. I didn't have to do that. She, by the way, never received that message. 

*head to wall*

This entire pregnancy, with me as the middleman between two hospitals/offices/professionals has been such a headache. A headache we are paying a $250 deductible for, might I add. Had I stuck with the OB and hospital my insurance wanted me to go to (had I not demanded the referral my insurance offered to see the midwifes at the smaller hospital) it would have been completely covered by my insurance. I feel like I am being punished for daring to go elsewhere. 

The other midwife, that I have seen twice, is much nicer. I hope she delivers the baby girl because cranky midwife always makes me feel uneasy. Nice midwife makes me cheerful and positive. Cranky midwife is like, "Well, they might have told you that the baby is fine, but I don't know that--because--I-do-not-have-you-ultrasound-results." Her once very kind smile looks entirely strained every time she walks in the room now.

Great, she must be thinking, the woman with the stupid fucking insurance. 

I just feel uneasy picturing someone with a strained smile, barely keeping steam from pouring out her ears, with her hands in my vagina. 

"But I left all that information at the place I went to. Your name. The address here. The fax."

"Where is this place?"

(as if I went to some hut in the woods for a supposed "ultrasound")

*I explain*

"I have no idea where that is!"

"Well, that is where I went. That is the only place my insurance would let me go."

"When was this again?"

*I explain* "Look, I will email the OB, give her your fax number again, and ask her to send it over to you just like last time. They must have sent her the results because she had to send the referral"

*a curl of steam escapes the midwife's ear.*

* turns out the place I had the ultrasound didn't send out my results to ANYONE. I either have bad luck with shit like this or medical facilities suck.

*

After that small mess, River was excited to hear his sister's heartbeat. Everything was done pretty quickly. Despite the ultrasound tech's estimate two weeks ago that the baby was about 6.4lbs, the midwife insisted that baby girl is nowhere near the size River was when he was born. (I'd like to believe her, thanks) Even though she should have gained a pound between the ultrasound and today..making her about 7.4 and River was 7.8 at delivery. That seems pretty damn close to me. Which would likely be more accurate? Hands? Machines? Neither? (HANDS! HANDS! HANDS! COME ON 6. SOMETHING POUND BABY!)

Only sour news is I am positive for Strep B-- a bacteria that could be harmful to the baby after birth. Solution, I will have to have iv antibiotics administered during labor. So I should get to the hospital sooner rather than later. It will take about 20 minutes. Not , too too bad. I mean, it's sorta nice to have an excuse to get to the hospital at a reasonable time instead of starting to push out a child fifteen minutes after having been admitted with my amniotic fluid soaked underwear laying on the floor and the camera left in the car... 

O, and I gained two pounds putting me at 139 1/2 which is, so far, 19 1/2 pounds gained for this pregnancy. Still way below the awe inspiring FORTY FIVE MOTHERING FUCKING POUNDS of my pregnancy with River. 

Feeling much better than last week. Small Braxton Hicks now and again. I don't feel like I will give birth soon because I feel too good. But we'll see. Maybe I just felt like shit my last pregnancy because I was SO INCREDIBLY FAT.

If I deliver the same time as I did with River, I should give birth Monday. I don't think this is likely. I don't know what is likely! Some time soonish surely, but when? Eh, who knows.