You would think ten hours traveling south would be unbearable, but my kids are amazing travelers. I've built them up to astounding feats of sitting in cars through frequent trips to New York. I am almost gloating over how very clever I am as a traveling mom. I almost want to say, "Hey parents, that can't bear the thought of going one hour with young children. See this ass? See it? Kiss it! I went ten!" But then again, I used to be that parent sitting in the backseat with my only child, thinking one hour was too much of a hassle and two...torture.
comfy clothes are a must for traveling with children
To plan for ten I knew we needed to leave after lunch with an entire morning to slowly get ready and wear the children out in the sunshine. Well fed and well played, Sage went to sleep right away and got in close to two hours comatose in her car seat. I made doable, easy goals for us. 1/4 of the way (2 1/2 hours) before our first stop, perferably at a Starbucks for lattes, sweets and the bathroom. We did it. Starbucks is a great stop. Large bathrooms, things we all can enjoy and outdoor seating for children to wander. We didn't rush back into the car, but once in we planned to get 1/2 way (another 2 1/2 hours in) and then stop for dinner.
For the entire trip I pack easy snacks in separate containers. Things Jason could hand to Sage or River with little effort while I drove. When I go solo parenting, it is even more essential that things are neat and organized so I can blindly reach, grab, and stretch. Everyone gets their own cup of water within reach. I also pack a container of toys for Sage and a bag of books for River. For the next quarter of the trip, the toys were essential.
At dinner we, once again, take our time. I have a easy to reach bag with things to wash up the kids and change them into their pajamas. The only complaint was the worse possible service we had at this Virginia Denny's. It took forever to get our food and when we did, there was no silverware and we had to wait a long time to get that. The check was slapped down on the table without a single question. Like, "Would you like dessert?" or "How was everything?" In a ten hour trip, I'll take that. There could have been vomit or screaming, after all.
For the last half of the trip, Jason took over. I fell asleep for the 3rd quarter of the travel--as did the kids and then I always wake up for the last bit. Once again, the lone bag was essential. It is the only bag that needed to be brought in upon out midnight arrival. We transferred both kids to bed without waking them, got washed up and went to sleep in Georgia.
You might ask, why not drive all night? Well, my children do not sleep well in the car. Both of them fussed and semi-woke a few times over that five hour night driving block. I also don't sleep well and Jason would not sleep at all. At least we all got part of a night in a bed!
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Georgia was the warmest I have felt it. One day it hit 81. I spent a lot of time walking solo, once I walked the dog, once we went for a family walk. I watched Sage wander about outside quite a bit. I saw a little lizard make a flying leap and try to eat a butterfly. I guess it didn't taste good. He let it go. Georgia always smells like pine needles. It always looks a bit overgrown. Every time we go south I think, "What is with all the freak'in Waffle Houses?!" I have yet to eat in one.
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Sage wanted to live in the dog's crate. She was very upset when I took her out. Think they would arrest me if I got her one for Xmas?
This dog is one of the most skittish I have ever met, but he loved Sage. He climbed right back in his crate with her there in the way.
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I'll be honest. It used to feel a bit weird at my mother-in-laws house. I used to be very conscious of being the short-white-girl. Now I'm just part of the mix--the palest part, but until the children grow up--not the shortest! Now Thanksgiving has new traditions.
This girl could not get enough of the cranberry sauce!
Traditions like collard greens and sweet potatoes pie, corn pudding, and southern sweet tea, grace before eating and the faces of brothers, not my brother (I couldn't help but think) but brothers. Brothers to be Uncles to my children and brothers to tease. Brothers to relate to Jason's flippant comments and sarcasm. While last year I was so conscious of Thanksgiving being the day I last spoke to my brother on the phone and where (in the front room of my mother-in-laws house in a spot of sun gleaming on the hard wood floor) and Jason having a brother present when I didn't, and wanting so badly to be with my mother on this holiday when she had no children around--this year I was thankful for Jason's family and my place in it. I was thankful for his mother, who is always kind and understands the loss of a sibling. I was thankful for Joe, who is the dutiful, oldest son helping his mother and helping my children. I was thankful for Jason's twin Jeremy who is soft spoken and sweet.
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What I am most thankful for is all these people who are still here this year. Last year was a fog of pain. A year without. This year, still without, I can begin to celebrate the life I still have, the people who are still in it and that being without Bryan doesn't mean I have to limit my own joy at being here (or try so desperately to force it) and being with brothers other than him or a mother other than my own. Not just for me but for my children. Their foundations will be built with the help of the many people that love them and are there to catch them if they fall. And I am thankful for Jason, who is lucky to have family here with him.
We should be thankful for each person in our life that gives us kindness. We don't know how long we'll have them here. That is the lesson Bryan taught me last Thanksgiving when I had to force out what I was thankful for always thinking of what I wasn't thankful for at all--the hole. The Bryan hole in my chest and with me every waking moment.
It is only this year that I am strong enough to act on the knowledge I've gained.
To be thankful and really mean it.
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